On Being and Becoming
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In 1985 the five day Training Workshop ends. The trainer’s saying that “psychodrama is rehearsal for life” clashed with the vitality and immediacy of my experience. I went home and wrote a prose poem. I knew what it was for me. It was not rehearsal. Knowing what it is not for ourselves can begin our knowing of our own truth – a truth to a “self chosen path”.
Thinking about reciprocity and psychotherapeutic relationships had me recal Cognitive dissonance and Carl Festinger Festenger, who recognized such dissonance as operating when imbalances that discomfort us are in play, and where immediate active reponses are, or appear, not to be able to correct imbalances in the social context. The response that is made is to view the events in such a way that the actual actions taken are logically unexpected. Other distortions are within the syndromes that occur when losses, limitations or changes are experienced. Grief includes processes that distort reality and give rise to creative even magical or superstitious thinking. Some distortions occur in relation tothe gaining of identity, as Tajfel discovered. The business of knowing or coming to integrate our beliefs about who we are as a person in the world or with a specific place in the world produces identity. In childhood we sweeten the limitating lemons by magnifying focus on the benefits we have, however mean, while souring or regarding less those advantages other children around us have or appear to have. Such distortions continue as identity is challenged or expanded through adulthood.
Language teacher on Niue in 1965 tought us to appreciate polynesian reciprocity. So careful for the stranger but taken for granted by the polynesian. What this mirrors to the western European is what it would mirror to Malaysian, Chilean or to be fair to any great ape or lesser ape or in some form all living creatures. Balance of relating and the importance in power management to mutuality, equity and efficacy in relationships and community are essential to self-direction, intimacy and self-esteem. This is not just self protective against being over powered it is societally significant in determining the sharing of power and ensuring the good health of communities and nations. Constitutional law is predicated on reciprocity.
In self-managing work-groups where productivity and quality and adequacy of service are crucial and where consensus decision making requires ensuring the place and influence of all members teams review relationships health and respect individual vulnerabilities and give assistance to each member’s ability to contribute adequately. Where vulnerabilities are owned and shared if the the relative vulnerabilities are not sufficiently balanced then sharing openness will diminish and well-being distress balances will be hidden. In any such group, which can be seen to include family life, reciprocity is crucial.
In polynesia you give me I must give equal or more. Although come to think of it – it is not quite that simply regulated. Assessment is subtle and mutually appreciated wealth and material assets are precisely transparent through the community and every relationship has both sides able to assess differentials of need and resources and proportionality will be precisely judged by both sides so “more than” could be “less than” but according to resouce differentials “more than” proportionally! In 1967 the building workers as their custom was sat around a banana box and put their fortnights wages down for one man to have all that was available after each of them took out what was absolutely needed for him and his family that week. Needs vary week to week family size differs and each is happy that on their turn they will get what is there for the major expenditure which other wise they’d need to save for in a pot or a Post Office account. This was adjusted reciprocity and trusted community provision. No complaints.
What of reciprocity in psychotherapy or any contracted relationship of helping by one of another – whether entered into freely or under duress. “Differentials of power” are recognised to be crucial as are “transferences”. But, what if we explore this endeavour at base exchange realities of reciprocity and balance. Then cognitive dissonance becomes a key player. The first question is: is there sufficient equity to sustain the health of both parties and what are the leverages towards health where the focus, and the contract, are to one person’s health and not the other.
Walter Logeman who has been guiding me into the world of blogging and web pages on
Word Press sent me this poem to lead me into the how to post or page an article or
document.
You will see that I posted a comment on his posting and I copy it here after the poem.
We have had a busy day with Evan and Isabelle
The sands were back last week – not completely but another month and they would be. Yesterday the storms sepped up the momentum and so the waves ravage the coast as the rain flooded the lower hinterlands. John – our son - could not get his ten year old son Kieran through to the local hospital at Nambour. The seas tore trees out that had been panted to stabilise the coastal banks fringing the beach. The sands have gone down a quarter of a metre at the very top and are metres lower twenty metres down the beach. Foam like the top on a shaky beer is competely dominating the waves breaking and right up the beach. A man walked his dog fluffy and white with a touch of pink. Just like the foam. I hope he kept the leash on and firmly held.
We went to see Indiana Jones with our Sunshine Coast grandchildren yesterday. It was a great “Boys Own” adventure but not just for boys, Brittany and Gwen had a great time. Kieran and I too. Tongue firmly in cheek Lucas is a wonderful story creator. The actors were superb and the adventures required absolute withholding of disbelief.
For a couple of days the internet connection’s been offlinewhich is no good but back again now.
We were going to Brisbane today. Meetings with good friends and colleagues. South east Queensland is swept by tropical storms and we are not moving out of our apartment – it could be worse of course and the Crusaders could be beaten by the Warratahs or the Socaroos be beaten by Iraq. For now we are here. Unfortunately the suite of comfortable chairs and settee were cleaned yesterday and won’t dry. We can sit on the floor and watch the tennis in Paris – as long as it doesn’t rain again there.
This morning in conversation with a colleague by email we engaged on the need for trainees and students to discipline their writing to meet their publishers precise requirements.
Psychodramatists in training are attracted by and continue their training buoyed by the discovery of spontaneity and the access it gives to their creative genius. They notice they are freer in themselves and more creative. Perhaps this contributes to an approach to writing tuned in to freedom of the rebellious I will be different different kind. They may have an unconscious fear that any request for a written response is a step backwards to school or university. They react protectively towards their new found friend and sponsor. Perhaps trainers don’t assist them to know their friends true guardian and guide: themselves. They can assume and blindly accept that this wonderful beast on whom they ride is free not only to free them but is wonderfully beyond their control and that that is the way of it. Some even think “spontaneity” is release of an a previously tethered real-self springing fresh and naked to strident life. Gift from the deep it is: like a genie. There for their gift of power but more powerful, and rightfully so, as they”let go” abandoning “control” and “trusting the moment”. (see my post The forms I or you take)
Is it reasonable to ask a trainee to write under any limitation. Particularly so when from their own creativity they bring forward their own applications working as a practitioner of the methods of Jacob Moreno. Well our manual sets out the requirements and among them prescribes 7000 – 13000 words for their final paper said to be their thesis.
January 2007 Charmaine McVae and I had been writing in collaboration for the Coaching journal edition of the Australian Psychologist for December 2007. We decided to write on role training as an approach to psychological coaching. Our collaboration got going at the beginning of December 2006. We knew the final submission prescription date – January 30. Two weeks out with 28 pages single spacing written and enjoying our productivity Charmaine checked the required upper word limit. Twelve pages double line spacing shocked us both. We took our opus magnum in hand and saw the opportunity to fine tune and savagely cull all but the tightest writing holding our readers in mind with focus. What we wanted to have read what we thought was essential was given up. The question was now how to put words on twelve A4 pages double spaced and give psychologists an appreciation of role training in one to one coaching consultations. Savage we were and I am sure our readers got a better article with adequate information and an appetising flavour of psychodrama.
Since Morenian spontaneity is mindfully directed ethically controlled freedom to be as much ourselves as we can in our planet and cosmos perhaps discipline to writing prescribed papers as essential learning from the start to the completion of training – but not of course any end of learning.
People of all ages point and laugh with delight. Teen agers shout greetings. Smaller children always want someone to look too. Tiny people 2’s – 3’s are perplexed. It doesn’t fit their image of things that move on roads. It doesn’t fit with what adults ride in. The problem is “How does he get out Mummy? He doesn’t have any doors”. Sometime mothers explain others stand alongside and say “Let’s look”. The child is then delighted, amused or simply on to other things. Those with adult explanation and reassurance are still frowning through their perplexity even having seen for themselves that I can and have got out without a door.
Don